I already did an introductory post of sorts today, but I guess this is my official Day 1 post to “Through.” For the past few weeks, I’ve been in post-op recovery. As my stunning iPhone pic will attest (see, I told you I was no photographer!), it’s been sweats, colorful, fuzzy slippers, a few books, too many movies to count, and an over-protective cat.
I’ve also had a great deal of time to watch the never-ending cable news shows as they discuss our country’s economic recovery. I’ve also had a great deal of time to think about my own personal economic recovery. The recession shoved my family off our very own personal fiscal cliff in 2008. We’ve spent the last several years trying to recover. For every step we take forward, it seems as though it’s many more than two steps back. When I finally found what I thought was a fabulous job, I was laid off 10 months later due to company-wide downsizing. 88 resumes later, no recovery in sight. Unemployment long since ran out, and I’ve been doing temp jobs and substitute teaching, neither of which comes close to making ends meet.
I’ve also thought a lot about emotional recovery. Losing your life, not in the physical sense, but your job, your home, your way of life, takes quite an emotional toll on your entire family. You blame yourself for things that are in no way your fault, and your brain plays nasty tricks on you, making you think if you were only better or smarter or thinner or worked harder, everything would get back to the way it was. You would recover.
But is that kind of recovery even possible? Can you truly go back to the way things were? Just like after surgery, there’s a part of your body, your life, missing. You’ll never be the same. Maybe recovery isn’t getting back to the way things were. Maybe it’s moving through what seems like hell and finding a new, maybe even better, normal.